Thursday, February 23, 2012
How do mothers do it?
Just a question. I've been a mom for almost two years, and a mother of two for just about three weeks. I feel like all I am capable of doing is not enough to satisfy just my two children. So I've been wondering how mothers do it all - cook, clean, sew, craft, exercise, decorate. I am totally stumped. I know that there are mothers that keep up pretty consistently with most of these. So I'm asking how. I feel very limited in what I'm able to do when there are two small children at home, and that's just two, how in the world can three children even be possible? I'm grateful for a good supportive husband, a wonderful mother, and my sister. They make it seem possible. (Still not with the cooking, cleaning, exercising, wonder woman thing.)
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9 comments:
As obvious as it sounds, it does get easier. You will find a grove that works. Everyday your kids get a little older and potentially more independent so the routine goes a little more smoothly.
I found that when I wasn't working, my kids were sleeping through most nights and I found a schedule that worked for me, I made tons of progress in life. I could have a clean house most days, fun with my kids, and time to craft or read. It was a great time, but I also realized being super mom has its time and season. Sometimes it is easier than other times. (I am currently dreading school that will force itself into our schedule.)
No mother does it all. Not one. It just looks that way from the outside. Heres the deal, when my house is clean, I haven't played with the kids much. When I make a nice dinner, the dishes usually wait until the next day. When I have built tent forts all day, my hubs comes home to a chaotic messy house, but he also comes home to happy children that have spent quality time with mommy....SO basically you just have to choose what is the most important thing at any given moment. The HOly Ghost will guide you. You will never be asked to "do it all". By the way, going from one too two was by far the hardest adjustment for me. Hugs***
Melissa
I totally feel your pain. Just yesterday Nate came home early from school and studied around the house during the evening. The dishes weren't done. The laundry wasn't done. I didn't get around to cleaning the bathroom...
I looked around the house and recognized how sloppy everything was, and how Nate probably saw it, and was probably wondering why I was just sitting on the floor with my back to the wall, letting the kids crawl over me because I didn't have enough energy to do anything else. And it was only 6pm.
Rachel and I are both adament in our beliefs that society has weighed down mothers with a bunch of silly, unnecessary tasks. Don't sew, with the time that you spend sewing you could just buy something from DI. Don't craft, nobody cares. Decorating is overrated, eating can be simple and quick, and cleaning can be easily accomplished with a generic toy bucket that everything gets thrown in.
I was just wondering the same thing about you!
Sorry that last comment was a repeat so I deleted it. Also, as far as crafts and sewing I thought I should clarify Stephen's comment: we think they are fun and wonderful, but not worth going crazy over. I think you do a great job of balancing it all.
Over time, it does get easier!! It is hard to be super mom! you may have dirty dishes and a dirty house but one thing I learned is not let it get to me...taking care of kids is way more important! But it really does get easier and you will find something of a routine that will work for you. hang in there...one other lesson I learned is to NOT be afraid to ask for help! There are many who are willing to help you!
So it looks like you've received a lot of good advice thus far from fellow parents. I doubt I can add anything that is more profound than their words, but at least I can say, you are not alone. I don't craft. I barely clean. I cook infrequently. I play with my kids when I can. I try to sleep. The one thing I know I do? Work. I know I work. Meaning that I'm still working on balance. You are doing great. don't compare yourself to any other mothers out there because you're not them. The only one who can decide what you should be doing is you, your husband and the Lord. If I feel I've accomplished one thing during the day toward one area of my life, then I feel great! :) You can do it Becca.
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